Written by Monkey Woods
Print this
Topics: Police, Dolphin, Cornwall

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

image for Dolphins Arrested After Lounging About On Beach
The man thought responsible for the navigational error

A school of dolphins found lounging about on a picturesque beach in Cornwall have been arrested by police and charged with being environmentally unfriendly. If convicted, the maximum sentence is death.

Animal lovers alerted police officers of the dolphins presence, and said that, if left to loiter for too long, they tend to rot. This was considered "a threat to the environment", and the friendly aquatic marine mammals were pounced upon by armed members of Cornwall's finest.

It's not yet known why the dolphins ended up on this particular beach, but it may have been a navigational error by the dolphin leader. We'll never know, because, despite all their frantic jabbering, dolphins can't talk.

Said dolphin fan Simon Crakpott:

"The police tactics were heavy-handed. I was just about to have a ride on the back of one of the dolphins, when a burly officer slapped handcuffs around its dorsal fin."

Local resident Stan Heckle, though, told our reporter:

"They were just laid there, all still and rubbery. This is a lovely beach, and to have a school of dolphins sitting there rotting away is just not acceptable."

Cornwall Police have said they haven't yet decided whether to return the dolphins back to the wild, or to sell them to local fish and chip shops.

Make Monkey Woods's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 5?

5 7 12 15
68 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more