Written by Midgetgems
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Topics: Terrorism, Dolphin

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

image for Terrorist Dolphins Thwarted
GCHQ picked up increased 'chatter' from suspects.

A pod of dolphins specially trained by Al-Queda to swim up the river Thames failed in their attempts to explode outside the houses of parliament thanks to covert operations by MI6.

The plot involved at least seventy vulnerable dolphins who were approached by 'dolphin-friendly fishermen' off the coast of Algeria. Intelligence sources say that they were selected for their smiley faces, taken to Pakistan to be indoctrinated or eaten and then fitted with satellite navigation systems to guide them up the Thames for beaching. They would then lie in the sun for several days and eventually explode.

"We intercepted a number of fishy-looking mammals as they came through the Gibraltar straits and fitted them with bogus satnav systems similar to the type used by the Iranian navy in the Straits of Hormuz." said Daphne Twonk (not his real name), spokesman for an un-named source. "We thought with any luck we could send them up the wrong creek, protect London and save Cornwall's eight jobs at the same time".

This latest tactic demonstrates how operations in Iraq are squeezing Al-Queda who are having to come up with increasingly fish-inspired plans. Ms Twonk went on, " In Iraq, the sun has to shine all the time, for the terrorist it only has to shine in the UK for several days in a row - which is also why it would never have worked".

Related: Jamie Oliver's new dorsal fin soup proves popular with Cornish

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