An exclusive restaurant for wild ducks is to open in Worcester, it was announced today.
Worcester City Council leader Bertie Worcester said: 'For too long the ducks here have been fed cheap Lidl bread, and out-of-date stale rolls, we felt it was time to make sure they eat properly.'
The new restaurant will have 24 little pools with floating paper plates, where ducks can dine, and there will be special duck toilets, and a creche for ducklings that are brought along. The menu, prepared by famous TV chef Jamie Oliver, will include organic freshly-mown grass, specially selected pond weeds, freetrade slugs and snails, and of course bread.
There will be 12 varieties of bread, thrown to them by trained waiting staff, including cracked whole grain, freshly-baked Halal rye, Kosher crusty white, and French baguettes flown in daily from Normandy. The restaurant, called Quacking Mad, is to be funded by the council, and is expected to open as soon as the grouse shooting season starts.
One duck, Donald Mallard, said:'Well, let's hope the service is a bit better than that place in Dudley. We had to fly out of the toilet window without paying the bill, it was so bad there.'
But his wife Jemima said: 'The creche there was good, I thought. The little ones were kept entertained during our meal with videos of fox hunting, which they thought were very funny. A fox got my Auntie Ida.'
'A case of Ida down, then?', laughed Mr. Mallard.
Duck eggs won't be on the menu.