Taking the lead from Network Rail management, the CBI have suggested that all British companies should introduce special bonus schemes for poor and shoddy workmanship.
With general rail foul-ups, late trains, over-crowding, cattle-truck style carriages and cancellations, it was agreed by the CBI - which is a sort of a business-men's club in Centre Point, London that organises big events in very expensive hotels - that Network Rail management certainly deserve these 6-figure bonuses.
However, because the club membership of the CBI also boasts useless and over-paid managers in other business sectors, it was felt that the bonus system for shoddy work and foul-ups should be extended to all.
President of the CBI, Anton Deque said:
"There is growing unrest amongst Britain's sloppiest and shoddiest workers that they are not being given recognition for their incredibly poor performance and business-ruining practices. Why shouldn't they also receive thousands of pounds for their incompetence?
"For example, when your local council skips a week collecting your rubbish, council chiefs should get a bonus. When your financial advisor miss-sells you a worthless endowment policy, give him a bonus. When you bank manager leaves your personal details outside the bank in a skip and your identity is stolen, give him a bonus.
"When operators of Terminal 5 lose your luggage, Willy Walsh should get a bonus. Gordon Brown when he gets kicked out by Big Boy Dave Cameron, give him a bonus. Or if Weigh-In Roomy misses a penalty, well give him a bonus.
"More bonuses all round I say."