Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 6 June 2008

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Operation Rize: more nuclear devices may be hidden in the Hampstead depository

London - (Cash-for-Honors Mess): Residents of a wealthy North London enclave are frantic following the discovery of an unexploded nuclear device in safe deposit vaults owned by business pals of Lord Levy.

The suspicious device was found yesterday in a police raid on the Hampstead strongroom located just yards away from ex-London Mayor Ken Livingstone's home.

The bomb was hard-wired into the concrete vault which straddles a key tunnel connected to the 500 million gallon London Ring Main water supply.

"We think that this is how Margaret Thatcher gagged the continuation of the Westmonster Homes-for-Votes gerrymandering investigation," a bomb squad source said today.

The police swoop has already netted over £1 billion in used cash, scores of priceless stolen works of art, exquisite jewellery, half a tonne of crack cocaine and enough firearms to kit out an entire SAS battalion.

Police from the Met's Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency likened the find to an Alladin's Cave of criminal goodies related to 20 years of unsolved crimes.

"We always knew it was just a matter of time before we found the evidence to nail the old whore," a Met top brass official commented wryly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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