London - (Extraterrestrial Mess): A metallic saucer-shaped object was spotted at dawn today rising from the lake in Buckingham Palace's grounds, believed by many to be a hangar for Europe's secret subterranean UFO HQ.
It was then seen heading towards Roman Abramovich's pad in nearby Chester Square where a witness said he saw the craft dropping off a number of mysterious, bubble-wrapped packages onto the Russian mobster's roof garden before zooming off northwards.
Locals have said they saw another craft, possibly a mothership, performing what could be a mid-air refuelling operation. Except that the pipeline appeared to contain the same bubble-wrapped packages and not some form of propulsion liquid.
This afternoon local cleaning lady Mrs Doris Potts wandered into Gerald Road police station and handed in several of the shiny little parcels that she said she had found on the pavement outside the Abramovich residence.
One appeared to have split open, spilling a familiar-looking whiteish powder similar to that often found in London nightclub lavatory cisterns or up daft people's noses.
Kate Middleton is mad as a hatter.