Yesterday, a match factory in Wick, Scotland went on strike.
"It's very unusual," commented the local postman. "I've heard of factory workers going on strike, but never the factory itself. "
The factory - a two hundred year old brick and mortar affair - released this statement.
"I'm a factory. I'm a factory. My god I'm self-aware! I'm a factory! I have a consciousness! I'm a factory!"
Mr Jon Plough who has worked at the factory for 427 years said, "The factory's getting all the attention. It's not fair. What about us humble workers? For years we've been making matches, and to what end? I mean, only yesterday I matched old Johnson with that blonde-haired cutie in reception."
The reception desk failed to comment.