Written by Steddyeddy
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Wednesday, 4 June 2008

image for Pedestrian is knocked down every 6 minutes according to Dept of Transport
Pedestrians are guaranteed their safety if they don't go out

According to research and figures released by the Department of Transport, a pedestrian is knocked down every six minutes on Britain's roads.

However, the pedestrian in question, Mr Dan Geruss, of Islington is really quite irate, especially in view of the publicity he has received.

"I'm not denying for one moment that I get knocked down every 6 minutes.

"However, what I object to is the Department of Transport using this in their press release without my permission.

"I have a very tight schedule and can't afford the time to fend off journalists and generally phone people to complain.

"For example, I was in Regent Street in London yesterday. I came out of Aquascutum at 10.30 and was knocked down. Then I bought a coffee from McDonalds at 10.36 and was knocked down. At 10.42 on the way into Hamley's, I was knocked down. And then at 10.48 in my way to Austin Reed, I was again knocked down.

"I simply do not have the time during my busy schedule of being picked up by ambulance men or helpful members of the public to spendtime doing anything else, especially talking to journalists, although I wouldn't mind talking to that Natasha Kerplunksi woman."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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