Written by Norton Folgate
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Monday, 2 June 2008

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After Boris Johnson's controversial decision to ban alcohol on London transport, one 62 year old gentleman is paying a hefty price for 'flouting the ban'.

John Sidwell, a retired plumber from Bermondsey, was caught drinking a can of shandy bass on Finchley Road station on Monday 2nd June shortly after mid day by TFL Police. Shandy Bass which is 0.5% in alcoholic strength, is traditionally referred to as soft drink but TFL wanted to make an example of Mr Sidwell and he has been sentenced to 6 months in prison on top of 125 hours of community service which he must complete when he is released later this year.

Mr Sidwell was remarkably upbeat and positive about his predicament and plans to use his time at her majesty's pleasure as an opportunity to write his autobiography.

Sidwell said, "I knew the ban had come into action so I can't say I did not know. I was one who agreed with Boris Johnson and it will make travelling a more enjoyable experience so no excuses but I never thought I would be arrested.'

A spokesperson for London Mayor, Boris Johnson said, 'We had to make an example of Mr Sidwell to demonstrate that now we are in power and running the most exciting capital in the world that we are not pissing about.'

The last word went to Mr Sidwell who said, 'The grim irony is that I don't normally drink shandy bass but the local newsagents had run out of Irn Bru. That will teach me!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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