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Tuesday, 3 June 2008

image for Roger Moore: "I could win a fight with James Bond"
Roger Moore yesterday

The actor Roger Moore has made a sensational statement by claiming 'under fight conditions' he would win a fight with the character James Bond.

Moore, aged 70 claimed "I've always fancied myself if James Bond and me were to fight" Moore who now lives in a park in Surrey and is a self confessed honking obsessive, went on to add " If I was in a pub getting tanked up, and Honnnnnnk!! James Bond walked in, I'd go up to him and chin him!"

The actor, who has made other claims including last years controversial newspaper articles "James Bond is a twat" and "Bond? B*llocks more like!", was unavailable to comment today due to having "honked himself stupid" last night after returning from a local pub.

When we spoke to Moore yesterday, we asked what evidence he had to support such a claim; Moore became a little more animated. "Honnnnnnk!!! I have loads of evidence. If you don't believe me, honnnnnk!! Watch this!" Moore then proceeded to wet himself whilst making a strange gurgling sound only broken by loud, intermittent honking.

Moore is currently under investigation by local authorities for the disappearance of several hundred traffic cones.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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