Written by Monkey Woods
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Topics: Prison, Joey Barton

Sunday, 15 June 2008

image for Joey Barton Escapes From Prison
It's OK, mate, after you

Joey Barton, the Newcastle United and England boxer who was given a 6-month jail sentence in May, has escaped from prison just weeks after being incarcerated.

Barton, 16, was given the sentence as a result of an assault in Liverpool city centre recently when he attacked two men after an argument over a McDonalds meal. The incident has become known as Britain's first case of Burger Rage.

Mr Barton was taken away to prison, where he was stripped naked and introduced to his cellmate, 'Wicked' William Hopkins. Hopkins is a life sentence prisoner who gives a new meaning to 'playing in the hole in the holding position'.

Yesterday, though, Barton was not present at roll call, and it's thought he may have 'curled one' over the wall.

Police from five counties were this morning searching for Barton, and say that he is being treated as a fugitive, and should not be approached by members of the public, especially if he is in a queue for a burger.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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