Written by Norton Folgate
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Topics: Stupid

Wednesday, 21 May 2008

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Edward Ainscough, 48 of Loughborough has been named officially as Britain's 'Stupidest Individual' after a succession of disasters, mishaps and prize 'cock ups'.

Ainscough, a Warehouse operative with a leading logistical company has been for years, what can only be deemed, 'a walking disaster'.

For example, he once turned up at Luton Airport and managed to miss his flight by 24 hours. On another occasion, he sent out over 75 Christmas cards but forgot to put stamps on any of the envelopes and then later that day, put diesel in his unleaded car.


Ainscough has also, taped over his wedding video with an edition of Top Gear, whilst on holiday in South Africa, jumped from a boat and landed on a shark and infamously on a lad's night out, withdrew 100 pounds but went to the Euros dispenser instead.

He was also locked accidentally in Home base over night and used his wife's hairspray thinking it was his deodorant. Long suffering wife/guardian of Angel Denise said of her husband 'he is one bloody big accident but what can I do? I love him'.

Ainscough once took a DVD back to Blockbuster but posted it back through the Help the Aged Charity shop next door and put his wedding ring on the wrong finger where it has been stuck ever since.

Denise summed things up perfectly when she told TheSpoof.com 'no two days are ever the same with my Eddie'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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