Written by tonybee
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Topics: Royalty, Hull

Tuesday, 20 May 2008

image for Hull family of eleven to educate palace
Queen to get Hull education

Following on from the Duchess of York's stay with a low income family in the deprived east-Yorkshire city of Hull, the city is poised to return the favour.

Freddy Ramsbottom, a spokeperson for Hull City Council explained, "the duchess was made quite welcome here when she came to tell low income families how to eat posh food like vegetables and chicken that doesn't come coated in breadcrumbs. We thought we'd return the favour and help the Royal family make connections with the 'normal people'"

Twenty-four year old mother of 9, Kylie Jane will spend two weeks at Buckingham Palace along with her eighteen year old live in lover Tyrone Smith and her children, three of which already have ASBO's. However the Palace will not comment on the rumours that the family pets, a Rottweiler, called Butch, and Staffordshire Bull Terrier called Ripper, will not be allowed to mix with the Queen's Corgis.

Speaking from the front gate of her council house in Hull, Kylie was in a bouyant mood, "the queen foned me up ovverr day and sed she woz lookin fowad to me helpin er wiv savin some dosh on er food bill and me helpin - oi Beyonce, stop hitting Tyler or al clowt yer one - Winston, leave that gun where it is, it's Tyrone's - er and er old man get wiv it wiv simple peeple such as me an my Tyrone"

The two-week stay will be made the subject of a fly-on-the-wall docu-soap to be screened on BBC ONE later this year. A spokesperson for the BBC commented, "Kylie and her extended family were chosen as being representative of working class Britain. It will be interesting to see if Kylie can educate the Royal Family in how people on benefits live and the whether the Queen's immediate family will experience any lasting lifestyle changes".

Setting up the programme has not been easy. The BBC have worked closely with local Police and community rehabilitation groups. In particular, the BBC told the Spoof that "There were a few worries that some of Kylie's twelve previous partners would want to accompany her and the children they fathered to the Palace. However, the BBC made it clear, verbally, and by working a deal with the local GP for the handing out of methdadone prescriptions, that only Kylie's immediate family would be included."

Prince Philip is said to be looking forward to the two weeks, "I just can't express how much we are looking foward to the two weeks...this slapper and her large family of sprogs, at least one of which has slitty eyes, will be just perfect for showing us how the prols live"

Royal watchers are said to be fuming at the news but republicans are cock-a-hoop, one spokeswoman claiming, "well I'm not surprised that the country's leading family of scrounging parasites should want to swap notes with another".

A member of the Royal family, who cannot be named due to current court action involving sex allegations was excited, saying "corrr, I can't wait to get Kylie here she's a real goer and her eldest daughter is right up for it so I'm told by thirty or forty local Hull lads".

It is not known if Rottweilers eat corgis or if the Royal kitchen has ever cooked Turkey twizzlers.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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