Windsor Castle - (Bare Ass Mess): Non-Christian Commonwealth ambassadors to the Court of St James's have recoiled in horror at this weekend's gratuitous display of sluttish female flesh at the nuptials of the puppet monarchy's leading non-entity.
Peter Philips' wedding to Autumn Kelly at Windsor Castle's St George's Chapel flagrantly breached ecclesiastical rules of no bare shoulders, plunging necklines or whoring in the pews.
"Anybody trying on this sort of royal rent-a-slut smut in a mosque, synagogue or temple would be pilloried abroad," a spokesman for the Commonwealth Ambassadors Association complained today.
The puppet monarch's tribute artiste family has already been slammed for regular displays of public drunkenness, blatant misuse of military equipment and continued cover-ups of crack cocaine trading activities.
The latest breach of royal protocol followed a £500,000 fee from Nazi Halo! magazine for exclusive coverage of the Windsor Castle cringe-fest.
Camilla is still drunk and incapable.