As no one has had the common decency and anger to mention George Galloway recently, I obtained permission to post the following report which appeared in both Exchange and Mart and The 2008 Brownie Annual.
In an effort to help build bridges between himself and the public, the Respect MP for Barking and Daggerinhand attended a rally he had organised celebrating the start of Ramadan and the Jewish New Year.
The event drew a record crowd of over seven people, all of whom came to hear the MP apologetically shout at, and insult, many minorities currently living and enriching the UK.
Issy Dangerous and Al Jahzeera spoke on the importance of good camera angles and lighting when making video demands as well as the importance of buying reliable shoulder bags, after which the crowd broke into elated, spontaneous combustion.
Mr Galloway then went on, in a session sponsored by Grecian 9/11, to thank both Mr Osama Bin Liner and The Chief Rabbit for having such wonderfully manicured beards, and to chide the fundraiser Lord Geldof for at times looking so untidy.
Mr Galloway is to announce, later this evening, whether he will give up his ranting and raving at minorities on Sport Radio, and enter politics as he has been threatening to do for the past few years.
"With the potential for an election looming" he said "there are potentially hundreds of honest, hard working MP's I could potentially target to unseat, thus allowing me to potentially fund my ongoing imitation of cats on the potentially few remaining reality programmes on TV, such as Prime Minister's question time (although I'm not too sure about that as I can't really be bothered attending Parliament) and of course potentially continue my anti-semitic rantings on Sport Radio."
Because of the appalling service from Northern Trains, Sir Jimmy Saville was unable to comment and declare this the "Age of the Train", as he was stuck somewhere between Doncaster and Penzance.