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Friday, 16 May 2008

image for Veteran politician Ming Campbell and antique entertainer Max Bygraves form double act and release new CD
Some of the musical notes featured on "Ming alonga Max"

The entertainment world was thrown into raptures today when former leader of the LibDems, Ming Campbell and teenage heartthrob of the late 19th century Max Bygraves announced their collaboration on a CD of new songs entitled "Ming alonga Max".

Destined to follow in the footsteps of celebrated double acts such as Morecambe and Wise, Mike and Bernie Winters and Bonnie and Clyde, Ming and Max decided to pool resources and give the public something they neither needed nor wanted. A bit like the iPhone really.

Max Bygraves, whose well-known catchphrase is "I wanna sell you a Tory", has gladdened the hearts of Labour Party members and spoonerists for over five decades.

Max said: "I didn't realise Ming had such a good voice. We were quite literally thrown together for an impromptu gig at the Chelsea Pensioners. Unfortunately, we felt that many of them were so much younger than us and didn't really understand our set-list, which included traditional favourites such as the car-makers anthem "Blue Cliffs of Rover", the Japanese protest song "Whale meat again", and the Village People hit "Bring me Bumshine".

"However, we also did an acoustic version, accompanied by the harp and bagpipes, of "Smack my bitch up", which had the audience throwing their crutches in the air and bashing their wheelchairs off one another."

Ming said: "I am delighted to be working with someone who is actually older than me. Especially someone as famous as what's-his-name, you know, that Max Doonican chappie. Jolly good egg if you ask me I say. Much more interesting than watching that Gordon Cameron and David Brown slug it out in the Houses of Parliament."

The album can be illegally downloaded from either Morpheus.com or through bit-torrent, or, if you prefer, you can either buy it cheaply from CD-Wow, or be a total numpty and pay full retail price at your local HMV store.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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