Prime Minister, Gordon Scrooge, claimed today that he could 'take all your savings, and put them in my Lloyds TSB account', causing no surpise to City analysts, and a passing cat.
Muttering from his Moaning Street residence, he said: 'Aye, I've taken savings from pensioners, mortgage owners, drivers, even children, and by this time next year you'll have nothing left.'
Opposition leader, David Ok-yah-moron, speaking from his office at the Beano headquarters, said: 'Look, man, wow, groovy! Though I make Hillary Clinton seem like an intellectual, at least I can shout louder then she can, at Prime Minister's Question Teatime.'
Investors have long expected Mr. Scrooge's plans, and many have sent their savings to safety overseas, lodging them in banks such as the Kentucky Last Hope Bank, and the Mugabe Youwon'tseeyourcashagainmugs Bank. But some have decided to leave their money in the United Kingdom, many deciding to keep them in National Stealings.
A spokesmouse for the Society of Bankers and Thieves, Mr. Sharif of Nottingham, took this reporter's shirt off his back before disappearing. But office clerk David Clark, in the Hyde Park, made this surprise claim: 'Why don't we just give everything we own to that tea leaf Scotch skinflint, it would save a lot of bother.'
Rob Roy McGregor was somewhere near Stirling.