Written by Whispy Wafer
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Topics: Mullet

Friday, 5 October 2001

image for 'Mullet not real' Shocker!
Impossible

It has emerged from Eastern Europe that the mullet was actually a figment of the Western imagination.

The subject of much ridicule since it rose its back-heaviness from its shorter frontal brother, scientific research has proven that such a hairstyle as the mullet is impossible. A survey of a million hairdressers possessing borderline sanity demonstrated that normal wrists were biologically incapable of cutting such a hair monstrosity.

Instead, it was found that the style was created by an American and British alliance as a plot to undermine the Communists as a part of the Cold War effort. The sneaky use of Kevin Keegan and Chris Waddle was somehow a part of this plan, although both the FBI and the CIA refused to say why.

They did, however, confirm that all mullets were a result of hologramific activity rather than actual hair growth.

No official organisation was willing to comment, but the FBI have, since the breaking of the story, evacuated their office. However, an old codger was available for comment.

To end on his moving words: "Mullet??? Who cares? Just you f*** off my property!!!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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