Written by Michael Simmonite
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Friday, 5 October 2001

image for Young Couple Wiped Out After Restuarant Blaze!
The Tudor Rooms, before the incident

A young couple paid the ultimate price for trying to sneak out of a restaurant last weekend without paying their bill.

Tim Slightman, a nineteen-year old unemployed shepherd from Dugdale in Derbyshire, and his girlfriend Trina Stockpole had just demolished a three course meal in The Tudor Rooms, a trendy restaurant in nearby Buxwell, when they decided to do a runner.

Luckily, eagle-eyed chef Terry Sniggles managed to catch a glimpse of them as they sneaked across the backyard in front of the restaurant kitchen window to make their escape. "They were acting very suspiciously, I knew something was up straight away," said Terry. "They kept stopping and starting and looking around all the time before they finally made a beeline for the wall. I hurried out of the kitchen and ran towards them as fast as I could."

Once there, Terry managed to foil their attempt to escape over the wall by grabbing them both by the legs and pulling them to the ground.

A blazing row followed between the two men and the girl. Such was the intensity of the row, restuarant owner Gerald Proprietor was alerted and he shot outside to take a look.

Between them, they managed to force Slightman and his girlfriend back into the restaurant kitchen where the blazing row continued for a while before finally petering out.

Eventually, the couple - who didn't have a single penny between them - agreed to wipe all the dishes for the rest of the evening to help pay towards the cost of their meals.

"It seemed fair enough," Terry told us, "but there was no way they were working in my kitchen after some of the things they'd said. I'm telling you, man, they were bloody wild!"

Instead, the freshly washed plates and dishes were wheeled outside into the yard on a trolley where the couple reluctantly dried them.

Slightman and his girlfriend are now banned from the restaurant.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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