Written by ScottThe Dot
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Monday, 12 May 2008

image for DTI admits HR is a bogus discipline
Helen Reynolds, founder of HR

The Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) came under the spotlight today after admitting that HR is a 'completely made up aspect of the business structure, designed as a place to put incompetent busybodies that no one else wishes to work with.'

'It started off fairly innocuously at a textile factory in Penge' said spokesman Kevin Potter at a press conference yesterday. 'An employee called Helen Reynolds was in her forties, single and a bit dim but having been at the company a long time she felt she knew it all. She was inept at pretty much anything involving technology and was an interminable gossip. Due to her length of service it was difficult for the company to sack her so they created a new department, called HR and put her in charge of 'strategic staple deployment.'

'Before the company knew what was happening Helen was holding seminars, away days, team building exercises and had hired a team of like minded witches from the local community to preach the word of 'HR'. It spread like a virus and evolved into the large departments we have today.'

'There is really no need for them if you can manage your own staples and replace them when they run out.' he said.

Helen Reynolds was unavailable for comment due to her appearance at a seminar called 'Morale and how to defeat it via internal memos.'

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