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Monday, 12 May 2008

image for Gordon backs 'organs for nursing care' scheme for pensioners
Ethel 76 sells her left kidney to pay for 8 months nursing care.

Gordon brown announced today that "wholesale reforms" of the way we have to pay for our retirement. With the slow increase in living expenses over the next 30 years expected, as well as having to sell your house and all other worldly possessions to pay for retirement and possible nursing care the sale of harvested internal organs to pay for retirement was today approved as the method for paying for nursing care after 65.

Dr Zackary Smith of the forward thinking Medical group said today "the list of expendable organs in a old person was huge" he said "as old people are expected to be a bit deaf and a have bad sight, selling one eye or one ear was a good way of making some needed loot, and after 65 you really don't need 2 kidneys or a spleen" DR smith also said "the fact that old people have sexual organs is a massive market on it's own seems that they don't use them anyway and frankly the thought of a 85yr old woman 'doing it' was disgusting"

When Chief medical adviser to the government, Dr. H. Lector was asked about which organs were worth he said "it recently came to light that the price in china for a newly harvested liver was now £42,000." He then went on to say "It is a great comfort to me that the internal organs could soon be brought as easily as some limer beans or a bottle of Chianti"

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