London - (Ass Mess): Ken Livingstone is being backed by a Hellfire Club cabal to stand for Parliament and challenge Gorgon Brown for the job of Prime Monster.
Gobsmacked Ministry of Defence sources have discovered the plot entails bumping off a sitting duck 40-a-day smoker MP with a sudden, very credible heart attack.
Livingstone will then stand in the ensuing by-election and win by an astonishing landslide.
The heart attack tactic was last used successfully when Tony Blair ensured his predecessor John Smith conveniently suffered a fatal coronary in 1994.
Defence Intelligence sources claimed today that Livingstone is likely to challenge Brown for the leadership within days of getting his arse back on the Labour backbenches.
"And awful lot of Russian petrodollars have been channeled via the UK's Hellfire Club to oust Brown," one Whitehall source admitted today.
"Ken will be running Number 10 by September at the latest."