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Topics: Breasts

Sunday, 11 May 2008

image for Big tits saved by High Court
Dr Akos Crippinovski set to make a killing

The High Court today passed a bill banning Breast reduction.

Breast reduction has become popular is recent years, mainly with lezza's and fat birds with bad backs. But after an exhaustive campaign by Ivor Brazier, leading spokesman for 'Hooters Monthly', they have won a high court injunction to ban cosmetic breast reduction in the UK.

"I watched a program on the Discovery Channel last year which i found quite disturbing and upsetting. Women with superb huge jubblies were having them sliced off simply because either her back ached a bit or men were staring at them! Which is plain stupid 'cuz that's what they're for! One woman with a fantastic rack of melons had her magnificent 36JJ's reduced simply 'cause men were looking at her in the streets. Selfish cow. She wouldn't like it if her husband had his cock reduced just 'cuz it made his knees ache a bit would she?!"

After the outcome of the hearing, where the Right Honourable Chief Justice Rupert Larjunns summed up the details of the court's ruling, he shocked a packed press gallery with "I do love to administer the occasional Soapy Pearl Necklace myself".

Mr Brazier, speaking outside the court rooms added "This crime against humanity will never darken our doorsteps again. Sense has prevailed. Our next plans are to enforce the legalisation of breast enlargement by a minimum of 2 cup sizes to minimum 'D' cup, so 'A' cup fried eggs will need extra attention 'cuz let's face it, most bloke's are bigger than that! Now I'm off to the gents to smack one out over my pickies of Lindsay Dawn Mackenzie!"

Now Femanist groups are concerned that woman will just become sex objects for men and carpet munchers to lust over. God forbid says the author.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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