Written by matwil
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Saturday, 10 May 2008

A pensioner has been charged with shouting a bit loudly at his wife, in Ballahuilish, in the north west Highlands of Scotland.

Hamish Broon appeared at Ballahuilish Village Court on the shouting charge, surrounded by an armed Grampian Police team, and made no comment to the sheriff, as his charge was recited to the packed court. But his solicitor, Mason McTrouser, read out a pre-written statement on his behalf.

'Mr. Broon has consented to intense psychiatric and psychological treatment for his shouting problem', he said, 'and promises to tone it down a bit next time, especially if Mrs. Murdo is walking her dog past his house on a Sunday.'

The procurator fiscal, Jimmy Griddle, said: 'Such outrageous lawlessness will always be punished by the Scottish courts. We intend to prosecute Mr. Broon, and fine him the maximum for such a disgraceful offence, which is seventy-three pence.'

Prime Minister Gordon Brown, no relation, added:'Where is Ballahuilish? Maybe I can add another tax to the fine, and make it up to a pound.' And Conservative Party leader David Cameryawn said:'What do you mean, who am I?'

Mrs. Murdo's dog had nothing to say.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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