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Friday, 9 May 2008

image for Gordon Brown to send task force to defend Falkland Islands
The Royal Navy all set to help Gordon Brown out of his electoral difficulties

Gordon Brown has been consulting widely to find a way to reverse his disastrous showing in the polls. It would seem that Margaret Thatcher has come up trumps.

"What you need to do is to whip the nation up into a jingoistic, militaristic fervour." She told the PM during their weekly meeting."Look at what happened to me with Falklands - kept me going for years electorally speaking."

Gordon Brown showing his usual complete lack of imagination immediately called in the Defence Chiefs and ordered another task force to head off to the South Atlantic to defend the Falklands from the Argies. General Sir Richard Dannatt - head of the army - pointed out that nobody had invaded the Falklands and we weren't at war with Argentina.

Gordon Brown frowned and thought a bit. His eyes then flashed with inspiration, and the ordinarily saturnine PM shrieked: "I've got it - spread the message that the French have invaded the Isle of Wight. Despatch a task force immediately - how difficult would that be?"

Admiral Sir Jonathon Band KCB ADC, First Sea Lord, said that as the Isle of Wight is a couple of miles from Portsmouth the assembly of a fleet wouldn't be too tricky. However, it was hard to ignore the fact that the French had not actually invaded."

Brown agreed reluctantly. He reached for the phone. "Margaret - I need a plan B. The Argies and Frogs have let me down."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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