Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 9 May 2008

image for Food Waste Mountain To Be Devoured By Tramps
Get away from the car, tramp!

Tramps and other homeless misfits are to be invited to a special banquet in London to clear the 3.6million tonne Food Waste Mountain generated by people who needlessly throw away good food.

The idea is the brainchild of new London Mayor Boris Johnson, and has received the backing of the Waste Action Resource Programme (WARP), who say that foods such as salad, fruit, bread and beer never go off.

Chief executive of WARP, Liz Goodidea, said:

"Mayor Johnson has already given the go-ahead for the banquet to take place in July, and we are organising the shipment of food from where it is now, on the dumps, to the picnic site in Hyde Park."

Asked about the risk of the food rotting between now and July, Ms Goodidea said:

"Come off it! They'll have to like it or lump it! They're only tramps, you know!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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