Written by spazzlepadazzle
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Topics: Old People, HIV

Thursday, 8 May 2008

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It has long been known among the criminal class that sharing needles can lead to the spread of sexually transmitted diseases such as Hepatitis B and the dreaded AIDS. Due to this the government made it one of their many, many priorities to target the youth of today with lessons in school and posters in corridors dictating the dangers of using another's hypodermic.

There was one group of British inhabitants who unfortunately missed out on all these stalwart efforts to warn them of the dangers. The spread of the disease was first noticed at the annual convention of GPs where they share their brainwaves to discover links in all of their retrospective patients. It was here that they started to realise that the amount of sweet old ladies developing those foul diseases was growing and spreading like fire that is wild as a mule.

"I couldn't believe I had it, I had presumed god had sent it against the Gays", "I'll bet that hussy Ingrid gave it to me", these two quotes sum up the beliefs of these dear old bats but how is it really infecting so many? The answer is of course knitting clubs. Old women have been knitting for centuries since it was first invented about 1500 years ago in the western Mediterranean.

These days however it has become much more dangerous due to their habit of swapping needles. Need this reporter say more? Just keep out of their way.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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