Buckingham Palace retracted statements today leaking a maternal link between Queen Elizabeth and new London Mayor Boris Johnson.
Shockingly the leaked statement has been traced to Prince Charles who is distraught over the new mayor usurping his role as most newsworthy gaffe prone privileged twit in Britain.
Charles has called Boris's claims to be of Turkish descent rubbish.
"No Turk has blond hair and is named Boris."
Charles lashed out that it is obvious that Boris of Aryan descent and mom always liked him best. He is calling upon his countrymen not to let their guard down to the stranger amongst them and reminded Brits of the danger should repressed Nazi supporters rally around Boris to conquer their island kingdom.
Insiders say that Charles has become unruly of late, using utensils from the inside out, speaking with an accent below his class and shoving Palace staff in between the shoulders from the back when they are not looking.
Officials from the Mirror, Sun and News of the World say that they promise to devote space to specifically ridicule Charles in upcoming issues.
We feel sorry for the old sod. He used to help us sell a lot of newspapers.
Buckingham Palace officials have unplugged Charles' modem.
The Queen says "Shush".