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Topics: TV, Religion

Wednesday, 7 May 2008

image for Over-used "You nailed it" TV talent show statement has biblical roots
I've nailed this bannister back on darling as you asked

"You nailed it" - a statement so beloved and so overused by all judges of television talent contests from "Britain's Got Talent" to various Andrew Lloyds Bank productions, was today explained at a press conference hosted by the late L Ron Hubbard.

Speaking from the afterlife, where Mr Hubbard was transported by spaceship to several years ago, he explained:

"It is for this very reason that people should stop following traditional religions and instead, give all their money to me. And I should know seeing as my first name is Lafayette - they used to call me Laffy Taffy at school. Oooooooh I hated them. Anyway.

"As I was saying, this whole "He's nailed it" business all these talent show judges go on about. It's repressed Christianity!

"People don't realise that the first time "He's nailed it" was used was when Chuckus Dehammaris, a Roman Centurion at the time of the crucifixion, turned to his fellow centurion to remark about the job Homebasus Diymaximus had done nailing Jesus to the cross.

"What is a mystery to me is how these judges can turn to a fat geezer with an opera singing dog on a bicycle and say "He's nailed it". Similarly, I don't see how some waif who can wash dishes while playing a cello can "Nail it", especially if it is a valuable cello. It would be better put on e-bay than being nailed, I can tell you."

L Ron Hubbard is deceased.

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