Former Labour MP turned television presenter turned Arab basher turned Euro candidate, Robert Kilroy-Silk has said that Britain should leave Europe before it sinks into the sea under the weight of immigrant Arabs.
In an interview with Non-Asian Babes magazine, the former personality said he wanted to be governed by his own people, and he wanted to govern his own people. He went on to say that if this country's links with the rest of Europe grew any stronger, he would contemplate suicide.
Several Labour MPs were delighted with Mr Kilroy-Silk's comments. One said that the people of Britain, especially those who had seen Mr Kilroy-Silk's television show, would now surely take a more pro-European stance.
Meanwhile, the Society of Men of Unbelievable Greasiness (SMUG) of which Mr Kilroy-Silk is chairman, will be holding an emergency conference in Cardiff tomorrow. The main focus of the meeting will be to find ways of getting Mr Kilroy-Silk back into the limelight he so desperately craves.
"Mr Kilroy-Silk suffers from the particularly nasty illness Attention Seeker's Syndrome (ASS). If he doesn't get his face on TV or in the papers every few days, there's a seventy percent chance he will die."
This revelation was made by Alex Slipshod, a new member of SMUG, who hasn't yet signed the non-disclosure forms. He also revealed that Mr Kilroy-Silk's animosity towards Arabs began soon after he was turned down for an anchorman's job at Al Jazeera television.
"He so desperately wanted to be part of the Arab community. When he was turned down, he became bitter. He doesn't take rejection very well. It's all very sad really."