Written by Steddyeddy
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Wednesday, 7 May 2008

image for Illness and shock when customer actually gets through to a Microsoft customer services staff member
The new Vista-compatible keyboard

Microsoft customer, Curt N Rodde was told yesterday to 'pull himself together' when he fell ill and suffered mental anguish having managed to contact a human being at Microsoft when he had a problem with his Windows XP.

Expecting to have to press innumerable combinations on his touch telephone and listen to Richard Clayderman murder popular piano tunes, he reached a customer service executive at Microsoft within minutes of dialling. He explains:

"What really made me ill was, as an inclusive telephone call user, I had looked up www.saynoto0870.com on my neighbour's PC first, in order to obtain an alternative to the premium rate numbers Microsoft have to use for customer services. With only $50 billion in the bank, Bill Gates is plainly not wealthy enough to allow customers the choice when it comes to phoning up for advice about his over-expensive, monopolistic computer products.

"But to get through to a human being within 4 minutes is simply not on! I had the expectation of holding on the line for at least 30 minutes, or as Microsoft would say, £3.30.

"Admittedly, when I did speak to the customer services executive, he kept insisting I use my installation disk, to which I replied my machine came pre-loaded with Windows from Comet and they don't give out installation CD's."

Linus Torvalds is 39.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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