Written by Norton Folgate

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Topics: Chavs, Teens

Thursday, 1 May 2008

image for 'I'm wicked and I'm lazy'
Nice one Gaz!

Gaz Swanton from Salford, Manchester is OFFICIALLY Britain's laziest individual.

Since leaving School in 1982 with 4 CSE grade 3's he has not been in any form of gainful employment.

Swanton, 41 and Father to 11 children said 'it's a full time job looking after the kids our kid, especially when the wife is down the pub or at the bingo'. Despite attending interviews where the feedback is generally positive, the unexpected somehow occurs.

At one 3rd and final interview for a well known sanitation company, Swanton was seconds away from being offered the position when he inexplicably head butted the interviewer. It transpires that by some strange quirk of unexplained fate, this has happened on no less than 21 occasions and employment officers are at a complete loss as to why this is happening.

We spoke with Swanton last night as he was watching an episode of Dog Borstal where he bragged that 'he would not have a job, even if you paid him. It's financially better to claim as many benefits as possible, by doing this, I am better off.'

His case is being investigated

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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