A civil servant who claimed to be a drunken Muslim Scottish suicide bomber has been jailed.
George 'See You Pal, Yer Deid' McFail, told passengers on the Tube they had one minute to live before his rucksack exploded, but when the train arrived at King's Cross, an hour later, there was difficulty for the authorities in scaring people any more, or even making the BBC print the story, though heroically they did.
An MI5 spokespook said: 'We tried to blame Muslims for the London bus bombings that we did, but the British don't believe such lies. So we picked on McThingy, as a sort of IRA-Scottish-vague-pasty-faced-terrorist, who isn't Muslim or Irish or even Scottish, that's how desperate we are to grovel to the Americans.'
The rights to this fairy tale have been sold to Disney, but it disnae matter, they're not here.