Prince William today visited lots of battle-hardened British soldiers in Afghanistan today, and instantly had their respect and loyalty.
The Ponce flew in in his own private Lear jet, and after sharing caviar and champagne with his own servants, he met the British commander there, Colonel Idowhatyankstellme.
Three minutes later his tour of duty was over, and the Luvvy flew away for another publicity stunt.
A Clarenth House spokes man said: 'Oliver Cromwell wasn't correct, we really need to fund these parasites, honestly - otherwise the Daily Mail would be out of business.'
Meanwhile, Prince Thingy was losing the fake publicity war against his brother, as he's not so pretty.