Sound like the opening of a bad joke? And so it is, as the election for Lord High Mayor of London comes down to the wire. Londoneers across the sprawling, grid-locked (sorry, Red Ken) metropolis are still trying to make up their minds amid the three stooge-like trio of candies.
Red Ken Livingstone, descendant of the Congo River explorer who got serious lost and had to be found, I think, by Stan Laurel, presumes to be the front runner. None of his policies, especially the TSG (Traffic Snarled Green Initiative) called by the critics, the Tough Shit, Guvenor justify his claim but he is in place which seemed to guarantee Worst President Ever Bush the 2004 guesstimation.
Conservative Boris and his alter-ego Natasha have managed to disguise their Bolshevik bomb throwing days behind what AA Gill calls: "Leftover bits of Dickens, Wodehouse and Monty Python". Liberal Brian Paddington "Bear" really does have his origins in darkest Peru, a little known Indian African slum in London town. A gay Bobbie brings to the electioneer banquet the law and order and artistic flair that might sink the indomitable ships of his opponents.
Let it be said that TheSpoof.com UK section of supposed writers can't wait till Thursday which in London is called Mayoral Election day or the day we get really sloshed before the day we get really, really sloshed!