Following the revelation that an entire litter of puppies were put down following the discovery of rabies in one of their beautiful, cute little brothers, a spokescanine for Sri Lankan street dogs has made a formal request to the British Embassy in Colombo for them all to be 'left alone so we can take our chances here thank you very much'.
Having bitten three members of staff at the quarantine kennels in Chingford, North London, one of the cute, fluffy bundles of fun torn from his tropical home later died in a foaming mass of gnashing teeth and snarling, prompting the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs to order the immediate cold-hearted destruction of his perfectly innocent family and extensive cutting and poking of their brains to see whether they, too, had contracted rabies.
The spokescanine went on to express his 'extreme concern' that, according to Sri Lankan records, the dogs had been fully vaccinated against the killer disease after being rounded up and whisked off the streets without a by-your-leave by a British charity and wondered if it wouldn't have been a better idea to leave them where they were - sleeping rough in a concrete pipe next to an open sewer.
'Now I'm not pointing the paw of suspicion at anyone here, but it's interesting that one of the people bitten at the kennels in the UK was a Social Worker. With their reputation, it's no surprise the puppy died shortly after', growled our contact. 'Consequently, it'd be very much appreciated if all these so-called 'do-gooders' and 'well-wishers' would spend their time, money and energy on saving British dogs. Clearly, not cats - they deserve to rot in hell'.
Our contact then sniffed the air, yelped a couple of times and ran off, not wishing to be identified lest he be kicked, run over, burned, shot, stabbed, boiled or otherwise cooked and eaten by anti-dog activists, currently estimated at 98% of the Sri Lankan population.