London - (Shaggy Dog Mess): A cute and cuddly puppy has died after being bitten by a rabid social worker according to reports.
Little golden shitsu 'Whoopsie Goldberg' was apparently nipped on the chin, neck and scrotum by an illegal immigrant social worker called Mrs Schnitzel.
Two days later the poor mite died after a massive anti-rabies serum overdose interfered with the hydrophobia.
Mrs Schnitzel meanwhile faces being destroyed under the Humane Dogs Act which classes her assault on the pooch as potentially biohazardous and a danger to shitting.
The social worker was one of thirteen stowaways who arrived in the UK in a giant North Korean dogfood pantechnicon bound for a storeage depot in Barking, East London.
A National Poisons Unit source said today: "Don't ever ask what the top dog food ingredient was that we found in the consignment..."
Heather Mills is raving bonkers.