Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 26 April 2008

image for Scientology prison chaplain scores Doherty scalp
'...very nearly fell for that 120 Days of Sodom stuff before converting via a Tom Cruise missal'

London - (Evangelical Mess): Eschewing traditional godsquad remedies like the Bible, the Koran, the Kabbala and 120 Days of Sodom by the Marquis de Sade Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty has converted to Scientology.

The move came after an opportunist prison chaplain brought him solace and some organic freetrade herbal detox remedies (sic) secreted inside a copy of a Tom Cruise missal - a copy of Ron L Hubbard's biography.

Supertstition peddling vultures had been circling around Doherty's Wormwood Scrubs detox wing cell for a whole week promising salvation.

"Yeah, they tried to sign me up, like," the singer told pals at visiting time today, "and I very nearly fell for that 120 Days stuff, hehehe.

"The somebody said 'Tom Cruise loves ya! Tom Cruise is gonna spring you outta jail straight to a classy Narconon medical rehabilitation suite in Montego Bay! Or Malibu! Or Tahiti! Or Oahu!'

"Heh! No brainer, eh lads?"

Amy Winehouse is sick as a pig.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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