Written by Scott Nairns
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Topics: School, Strike, Teachers

Thursday, 24 April 2008

image for Teachers Strike Sparks Nationwide Happiness!
A Happy Schoolchild Killing His Teacher

A teacher's strike which could see millions of kids better off has been praised by politicians and adults the length and breadth of Britain.

For 100's of years, kids have been forced to go to school to 'learn' nonsense and to respect old dithering teachers, with some pupils even so tired they fell asleep in class.

Studies have been conducted and with most kids expected to end up on the dole, in prison, or murdered; the news of the strike pleased young Harold Poutier (9), who spent the day at McDonalds and then stabbing the eyes out of cows in a nearby field, in Surrey.

A spokesperson for C.R.A.P.P.t, (Children Rallying Against Pish Poor teaching), was keen to talk to 'The Spoof' correspondent Scott Nairns, but only after i had bought 4 bottles of Bucky and 40 Regal.

"They're pish poor, they hit you with this Karma carry-on and drone on about the Battle of Hastings and how things were in 'their' day. Let them strike, keep the strike going as long as possible, we're giving up OUR time free of charge you know!

"If it's their democratic right to strike, let them do it. We've a strike planned anyway, so as soon as they're back to work, we'll down tools, (pencils, rubbers, rulers etc)".

Asked if he'd miss anything about school Harold confessed to 'probably' missing Mrs Higgins' chest wobbling about when she moved from her seat, but claimed he had been on the internet for most of the day so it wasn't a problem.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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