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Monday, 21 April 2008

image for Tube Comedy Deemed Offensive
The Actors Wait For a Bus After Filming

A new comedy film due to be released about deaths in Britain's Tube stations has been deemed offensive by the National Transport Union.

The comedy starring Sasha Baron Cohen as Jean Charles de Menezes and Mackenzie Crook as Cressida Dick has been slated as tasteless by the Union.

The film centres on a hapless Tube driver who keeps ploughing down homeless drunks who wander onto the track and is based on real life reports of these numerous incidents. In a comedic twist De Menezes boards the Tube to repair a loose floorboard at exactly the same time as a crack squad of anti-terrorist officers pursuing the tube driver, played by Oscar Winning actor Javier Bardem.

At a preview of the privately-funded film, tube drivers dismissed the film as nonsense. "There are lots of discrepancies,"said Martin Tittle using a big word for perhaps the first time in his life," For a start we run a points system depending on the speed the drunk is running at, that isn't mentioned at all. Also Javier is totally miscast as the hapless killer "Blakey" and we don't have female conductresses on the Tube so Barbara Windsors' role as an octogenarian "clippie" is not justifiable."

Another tube driver at the preview agreed, "When Bab's tits kept falling out, I thought I was going to be sick," he commented.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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