Written by Steddyeddy
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Topics: Olympics

Sunday, 20 April 2008

Well, the final leg of the Olympic flame, or perhaps is it the final flame of the Olympic leg - anyway - the masses they are revolting, and I don't mean a Sunday morning church service in rural Ireland.

Firstly, Beijing has spoken out saying that if the USA doesn't offer more practical assistance to ensure the smooth running of the Olympic Games, the leader of KFC, Colonel Saunders will be demoted to Captain Saunders, if not Comrade Saunders. The authorities have also stated that they will ban the export of chopsticks, which means that the UK will have to blame the USA for John "Prezza" Prescott having to use his fingers as he works his way down the entire menu in his favourite Chinese eatery, "Bulimia's" of Hull.

The Federation of Master Builders has also come under attack. Their spokesman, Robert Thebuilder said:

"Thanks to the anti-torch protesters, the new Olympic brick-throwing event we were due to sponsor in Tiananmen Square looks like being cancelled. We had even arranged for local students to catch the bricks as they were being thrown, while of course dodging in between the tanks and foot-soldiers."

And even Mad Bob Mugabe is under threat. He was entering a team in the Veteran's Modern Farming Triathlon, where teams of Zimbabwean war heroes have three attempts to run a farm without killing any of the previous occupants.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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