Written by IN SEINE
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Sunday, 20 April 2008

image for Prince William helps to dry Kate Middleton's smalls
Prince William flying a smaller chopper, earlier last month

As meteorological records show April 3rd 2008 was the least windy day since records began. A high barometric pressure front had settled over Berkshire and although there was great visibility, the sun was not up to full strength because it was obscured by high cloud.

Carole Middleton, Kate's mum had just pegged out the washing on her rotary washing line, including items of Kate's underwear because she needed them to go to a couple of nightclubs that evening. Seeing her mother in despair, Kate decided to call Prince William who was flying helicopters at RAF Odiham and see if there was anything he could do.

"Well I'm just off on a training flight, but I'll try and help. Tell me are they the red ones with white polka dots you wore last week?" he asked.

"Yes love" she replied

"Leave it to me!" he assured.

About 20 minutes later a large Chinook helicopter came and landed only for 20 seconds in the field next to Carole's washing line. The downdraught from the aircraft sent the washing line in a spin at speeds of around 80 knots and the clothing was soon dry.

Station Commander, Group Captain William Oddie DFC, said;

"Prince William's sortie was a navigational exercise where he had to spot a pair of red knickers with white polka dots in a field in Berkshire. It's a routine training exercise for helicopter pilots - all trainees must do it. As Taliban warlords wear similar coloured turbans on their heads, the pilots need to be aware of their whereabouts."

He's definitely a Knight in shining armour!" said a relieved Carole.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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