RAF Odiham - (Ass Mess): The tribute artiste known as Prince William faces courtmartial after veering off-piste to land an RAF Chinook in Kate Middleton's rural back passage.
"Sure, it's big enough to take the £10 million bit of MoD kit," a Red Arrows source said today, "but it may be completely unsafe by now following a landslide caused by many previous sorties by unknown craft.
"Maybe he was delivering her weekly fix of smack," the source added.
William, the Pretender's heir-of-the-dog apparent, is also up shit creek about his previous use of an RAF chopper to collect an Indian take-away rather than walk or cycle fifteen minutes to Sanilav's Poppadom Palace nearby.
"He just regards it as a royal benefit scrounging perk," one MoD top brass critic fumed today.
Kate Middleton meanwhile is still giving bravura performances as official Palace fag hag for which she is being paid by a Clarence House bursary reserved for Opus Dei scrubbers.
Chelsy Davy is a twit.