London - (A-List Sewage Mess): Paris Hilton drew a record number of London's stagnant water bottom-feeders last night as she graced a Mayfair nightclub with her pointless toxic presence.
The somewhat faded 27 year-old peroxide bimbo didn't even think it necessary to touch up her now-greying roots as she flounced into Mahiki with Good Charlotte musician (sic) Benji Madden in tow.
Even her black and silver ensemble looked like a cheap and nasty $200 outfit from some M25 backwater rag merchant.
"Makes her look like she's just knocked off from a gruelling fifty quid-a-pop sleaze-session at Max Mosley's orgy apartment," one London clubber commented.
After ten consecutive impromptu visits to the Ladies Room to 'powder her nose' Paris gave a feature-length 10 minute performance of slobbering all over her American paramour, groping his family jewels area and very nearly causing him to burst forth from his Moschino-for-Men snakeskin jeans.
Then to the delight of Z-List London celebs like Big Brother's porny Marchant twins - who at least had had their hair roots touched up relatively recently - she then gyrated a faux-lapdance like some drunken kamikaze weirdo about to go down on an unsuspecting landmark erection.
Kate Moss is in hiding.