A free "concert for evil" to be broadcast worldwide is being planned to counteract negative stereotypes of Satanism, Hell, and eternal torment, it has been revealed.
Already signed up are big name devil worshippers such as James Blunt, Kylie Minogue and Sir Cliff Richard and the line-up is said to grow when ex-celebs, such as Bing Crosby and The Krankies will be publicly raised from the dead to perform.
"Evil-doers everywhere have rejoiced in Satan and his ways" said Australian songstress and practiser of the dark arts, Kylie Minogue "and I think we should be taking that message out to the young people."
Sir Cliff agrees.
"People think my eternal youth is maintained by chance. It isn't. I must constantly murder the innocent to survive."
Earlier a petition was handed into Downing Street signed by several hundred celebrities concerned over the misrepresentation of Hell in the media.
This follows Satan claiming that the Western media was demonising his demons.
The petition, signed by such notables as Sir Ian McKellan and Harold Pinter, claimed that eternal damnation was "exaggerated" and the treatment of dissidents in the underworld was "no worse than in Britain".
It was handed to a furrow-browed Gordon Brown, who said he was sympathetic to the idea.