Buckingham Palace - (Ass Mess): Wills and Harry have been banned from going to the Olympics after the Chinese found out they have had 'I Love The Dalai Llama' cartoons tattooed on their bottoms.
A spokesman at the Chinese Embassy in London said Beijing was taking no chances after assessing the number of times the feckless little heir-of-the-dog apparents to the puppet throne dropped their trousers after so much as half a pint of lager shandy.
"Beijing Olympiad chiefs very worried," cultural attache Hoo Flung Dung said today, "international incident a great pity."
Foreign Orifice sources however feel that a negotiated settlement is possible.
"With very little actual alteration we think the Chinese slogan on the royal arses could be easily modified to Kiss My Ass The Dalai Llama .
"We hope this proves to be a useful bargaining tool."