TV reporter Norma Snockers has announced that "six Masai Warriors from a remote village in Tanzania are going to run the London Marathon using only a shield and a spear to conceal their meat and two veg."
The Tribe who have been sponsored by the British Charity Green Finger are hoping to raise sufficient funds to build a Garden Centre back home.
One of the runners Ivor Longtool said "even though the English people look real sad miserable bastards, they are in fact quite friendly and we are very pleased to be here. I understand that many of them work in offices, doing real shit jobs, so they don't laugh as much as they should."
He went on to say "we have been warned not to borrow other people's jewellery and not to round up any animals that we might see, as they will probably belong to someone."
When asked by Miss Snockers regarding what time they expected to complete the course in, Ivor said "we do not wear watches, so we shall be praying for the sun to shine, so that we can tell the time. Whatever happens, no matter how tired we become, we shall definitely not jump on a big red bus."
Finally he added "after the race, my friends and I will have a big celebration."
"We have been advised to blend in with the crowds, get pissed, and to act really silly so that we will not be noticed."
"Also we have been warned that we must not pee and crap behind trees before the Pubs and Clubs close."