Written by Gordon Bennet
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Tuesday, 8 April 2008

image for Brainiest Girl in the UK makes more money working as a Prostitute than working for the Foreign Office
Suri Cantgetanuff just cannot get enough

TV reporter Norma Snockers has announced that "Child prodigy Suri Cantgetanuff who went to Cambridge University at the age of 10 is now making a fortune earning £20,000 per week as a Prostitute."

Norma added "at University Suri obtained degrees for Maths, Science, Politics and History and learned to speak in fifteen languages but eventually decided to rebel against her Father who was a right bastard."

Apparently he made Suri learn a new language every six months and was a controlling, bullying shit.

After several years of unhappiness Suri ran away from home and joined MI5 where she has made a fortune screwing Foreign Diplomats.

She last made contact with her parents by e-mail claiming she had had enough physical and emotional abuse to last a lifetime.

Her mother pleaded with her to come home but she refused saying "I love this life. Some days I feel just like Julia Roberts in the movie Pretty Woman and other days just like Billie Piper in the Secret Diary of a London Call Girl TV series."

Suri went on to say "People think being a Prostitute is sleazy and dirty but I don't see it like that. I have always had a high sex drive and now I can get as much dick as I can cope with."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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