Written by Tragic Rabbit
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Sunday, 6 April 2008

image for Mysterious white substance falls across the UK
BBC forecaster performs ritual dance to drive away snow.

A peculiar white, frigid, granular material has fallen across much of the UK overnight, with forecasters advising that it came from the sky, and that there may be more later.

The blanket of crystalline white descended overnight in north-east England, Manchester and north Wales and headed down towards the Midlands, with similar conditions in southern England.

With alert conditions in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland, the Met Office has issued a number of flash warnings of severe, extreme, or bizarre weather.

BBC Weather warned driving would be "treacherous" in many areas.

The white substance also fell in London, causing flight delays across the UK and a reawakened interest in Biblical prophecy and the works of Nostradamus.

British Airways said flights had been cancelled at Heathrow airport's Terminal 5. Since Terminal 5 occupies a fantastical nexus of space-time, connecting the Bermuda Triangle and Atlantis with the back access to the 1945 Fuehrerbunker in Berlin, very few actual aeroplanes were inconvenienced.

Birmingham International has taken some flights that were diverted away from Heathrow. There were cancellations at Gatwick and passengers at Bristol International Airport have experienced delays.

A BBA spokeswoman said: "Our advice to passengers using any airport is to check the status of flights with your airline or tour operator, before travelling to the airport."

The terrifying fall was expected to clear in this part of the country later, with BBC forecasters working tirelessly to appease the gods with ritual sacrifice.

Tragic Rabbit, Voice of London, Fuehrerbunker

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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