Written by Monkey Woods
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Tuesday, 1 April 2008

image for Hospital And Supermarket Apologise For Foetus Blunder
It's uncanny!

A hospital and a supermarket have apologised to the public after 7 foetuses were lost from an ante-natal unit and were later discovered on shelves at a local supermarket described as Poussin.

Bosses at the hospital, St Auschwitz-on-the-Hill in Sudbury, have admitted today that they made "a grave error" with the foetuses, which were scheduled for incineration.

One of the senior doctors there, Dr Alan Mengele, said that the hospital's traditional system of 'putting foetuses in a bin' was "fundamentally flawed", and that staff had neglected their responsibility to ensure that the foetuses ended up on fire.

Instead, he said, an unspecified series of events had taken place, whereby the foetuses had ended up at a packing plant, and distributed to a store in Glasgow, where they were found on a shelf by an eagle-eyed shopper looking for some chicken wings for her supper.

Alma McSporren, 46, said:

"I just wanted some wings for ma suppa! But when I saw them wee bairns, I nearly cried! Poor dears!"

Store manager Richard Trolley apologised for the error and said:

"They look so similar. We've taken every possible step to ensure this doesn't happen again, but if any of our shoppers has bought one of these foetuses without our knowledge, they should cook it for 45-50 minutes at 190*C (375*F) or return it to the store where it was bought. Their Clubcard points will remain unaffected."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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